Demotivated

Never been thought of being treated this kind of way.

Never been thought I must face this kind of thing again.

I have always loved my name. My other siblings have 3 names including the family name "Wan" but I had only been given a word other than the family name itself.

NAQIYYAH

I have always loved my name as it is so special for me. My father gave this name. Thus, I gave my precious daughter name, Naqiyyah too.

My family, relatives and close friends call me Qiqi. I can still vividly remember when I was in my childhood day and that was in Kuantan. My neighbour kept on singing KiKi Lala Song.

I have always felt offended to listen to his voice singing that song and I still remember I had once told my cousin (brother cousin), Abg Lee about this. I love how Abg Lee consoled me, He said to me that the Qiqi name is good as it is glamour and so catchy. Since then, I love my nick name too. 

I have always get the weird responses while I tell others to call me Qiqi. They will say "macam nama kucing". Hurm..

But, when my name has been put on a floor, it hurts me a lot. Like seriously it hit me a lot. I have been demotivated. I am so sensitive nowadays.

I have always dreamt of that my signature would be a precious one later. That is my ambition. I work so hard to ensure my dream comes true. In future insyaAllah.

However to my surprise, after 3 days of crying because of this special person, I have made up my mind again. It is okay not to be in the spotlight, it is okay being rejected, it is okay to have been treated such way because we are here just for a couple of days, weeks, years but we are in hereafter for a lifetime.

I make up my mind to at least being grateful that I am still having all my families even we are apart. I still can see their faces throughout video call. I can still hear their voices.

And I told my self not to treat others the way I have been treated because when it hurts, it did hurt pretty badly. 

Thus, If I were given chance and opportunity later, I hope I still remember my word of not treating others like this, until someone becomes demotivated. I will plan thoroughly to ensure that everyone has equal chance and not being left behind. This is at least the best and precious lesson that I can learn from this kind of situation. Consoling my self took like ages. So I need some time. 

Till then.

-WN